Abnormal Items. Help Wanted.

Hello.

Yes, you.

Yes, the person that just read ‘Yes, you’. The very same person that believes this document is aimed at the general readership of this document. In fact this is not aimed at the general readership; it is directed to you.

You see I am an Abnormal Item.

What is an Abnormal Item you ask, fair enough question.

An Abnormal item is an otherwise unremarkable thing that has one or more peculiarities. For example. This, the text that you are reading and the document the text is contained within, always addresses the reader directly.

Another example of an Abnormal Item is The Deck of Kingly Drawing. That Abnormal Item, is a deck of playing cards that no matter how well shuffled, will always have the king of hearts on top, so that if a card is drawn from the top of the deck… you will draw the king of hearts.

Another such item is The Comb of Many Colors. This item, when ran through hair, turns the hair a random color. There are no dyes or coloring agents on the comb. It just does that.

Why are these Abnormal Items in existence? What is their purpose?

The person that owns me, me as in this document, hopes that you can assist in answering this very question.

He has hunted for these items just as his father did before him. He hope by collecting and examining a wide sampling of Abnormal Items, he will be able to unravel the mysteries surrounding them; both their creation and their function.

The first item that he came across was a Jerry can, you know, one of those big red metal gas cans that you put gasoline in. The abnormality with this item is that it always contains a quart of gasoline. No matter how many times you pour the quart out, it inevitably returns in fifteen minutes.

Finding this Jerry Can of Refueling spurred him on to hunt for the ‘76 Impala of Enduring. A vehicle that, no matter it’s treatment, will not breakdown. Drain it of oil, remove the radiator, dump sand into the transmission… it doesn't matter, the damn thing will continue to run.

Lately the clues that point him to his next Abnormal Item have run a bit dry. He hopes that you could share your legends and folklore surrounding such items.

Think hard.

No this isn't a silly blurb written by a hack writer!

I’m reaching out to you for assistance!

Don’t let something slip through the cracks. Think. Have you ever had a pair of shows where the left shoe would always go missing and end up it the strangest and most inexplicable places? Perhaps you have come across a pair of Shoes of Hide and Seek! Stranger things have happen.

For instance, did you know that there was a quarter found recently that passes through vending machines, exiting the coin return slot 100% of the time. It somehow tricks the machine into believing it still retains the quarter as well! This has led the owner of that particular Abnormal Item to develop a rather unhealthy diet of snack foods.

Another example of an Abnormal item that my own also owns presently is the Mute Button. This item is a simple shirt button that when place into a person's pocket or held in a person's hand renders them completely unable to make any sound at all.

Any leads are greatly appreciated.

Sincerely your’s

The Document of Unsolicited Address.

Post script - Please leave all Abnormal Item descriptions in the comment section below.